damedana | Serpentine Horizon Inbox

[this is prooobably sometime after he's checked in with Ange, so now he has EVEN MORE blankets draped on him. wow.]

[good because she's going to plop down next to him and cozy up into those blankets]

He's so stupid.

[leaning against her and wrapping her up easily]

I have noticed that. What'd he do this time?

You know how he's always saying how he's soooooo worthless and doesn't have an identity and so on because he grew up in a garbage dump?

Mmmm... he might've mentioned that once or twice or probably every time I've spoken with him.

It's getting on your nerves, huh.

It is! Especially when he's inconsistent about it! I pointed out to him, once again, that he and I are pretty similar and he's not the only one who feels like worthless garbage. I wasn't even trying to tell him that he has value, I was just going for a bonding moment! But he just goes "Noooooo Beato you're totally different! No I'm not going to provide any actual reasoning for my argument, it's just a feeling and my feelings are just objectively correct and definitely more correct than your feelings and no I'm not a hypocrite, I'm just a huge stupid idiot!!"

[HUFF]

[keeps a straight fac--no, he snerks. sorry not sorry.]

Oh, so it's one of those moments.

He's not wrong that you're objectively different, that's just being individual people. But he is wrong in the "I'm worthless and you're not" area because neither of you are worthless, even if you don't believe me or feel it.

See, when you say that it's fine? Because I know I can rely on you to provide actual reasons for saying it.

In blue and red.

Hooooweeever... do you want me to play devil's advocate here or do you still have some venting to get out first? Because, really, that is frustrating.

...No, I wanna hear what you have to say.

I think... that you're going to have to come at him from a slightly different angle. Or at least establish more rules with him.

If you're expecting an actual argument with reasoning, I do think he's capable of it but not if it involves people within a certain sphere for him. He seems to be able to reason fine whenever I ask him questions, anyway, and we've already established that I'm not in that sphere. But you are.

He's told you about his Spider, right?

He says he wants a game, but then won't engage with it properly. What a difficult man.

[HUFF HUFF HUFF]

He's told me a little. It's a terrible metaphor.

[pokes her cheek]

That's a problem right there. Maybe he's not playing the game according to the rules you're used to but it doesn't mean he's not playing.

If you see it as a terrible metaphor, how are you supposed to convince him that he has any worth? That Spider seems to be really important to him.

You know there are no spiders that can survive having their head cut off, right?

[this is the most important part]

How many times does the titsy bitsy spider go up the water spout again?

...I wonder. He thinks the group would go on without him, but I'm not so sure about that.

That is a big flaw in his way of argument of being worthless. But how does he think it will continue? I think is an important question.

But let's flip the board around now.

Why would he say something like "you have worth but I have none" even when you state otherwise? You say he's using emotional reasons instead of logic, right? But if his argument is "you have things I do not", that is a logical argument. He's using objective facts even if he's being emotional about it.

Edited 2022-10-29 10:55 (UTC)

...I suppose it's just not a style of argument I'm used to. It's something that wouldn't work in our game, so I get caught up in thinking it can't work in this one either.

Even with the rules of our game, logic isn't always so absolute. Having an interesting or compelling reason the truth can be one thing over another is just as good. I seem to remember you letting me get away with some pretty unreasonable blue truths just because they were more fun.

So now I'm flipping the board back onto you: is that really why you're upset with him? Because he's "not playing the game right"?

...Hah. You got me there.

No, it's probably not the real reason.

I'm a cheater because I know from experience it's never usually the first reason with you.

[kisses her temple.]

Or, at least, it's not the whole story. Wanna try again to explain it?

Mmh. You know me far too well.

I just feel like... he's kind of childish, I suppose?

I know he can get pretty petty when he puts his mind to it, which can seem childish, but that couldn't be very surprising...

It's not surprising at all, but sometimes you can be struck even by something you already knew.

Ah, so it was hurtful is the actual issue.

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