Ushiromiya Battler ([personal profile] damedana) wrote2023-02-19 11:59 am

[UMINEKO SPOILERS] Heart (Unscored) - Korone

The story ends as such:
"when the seagulls cried, none were left alive"...

But this isn't such a sad story.

This is a story about love.
bluediligence: (Got no intention of listening to that.)

Re: A Room

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[ she'll maybe notice all of that stuff in like ~20 minutes or so

because the moment she feels any kind of touch around her throat, especially one she can't immediately yank away from, she just. straight up has a violent panic attack. it's cool. it's fun.






... but when she's (kinda) worked her way through the hyperventilation and (mostly) doesn't feel like she's at risk of up-chucking or fainting, she stumbles up to her feet and goes to examine the chain in more detail. ]
bluediligence: (An impartial seeker of truth.)

Re: A Room

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 05:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Window next! What's out there? ]
bluediligence: (Might make me look like a bigwig.)

Re: A Room

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[ nani ]

Are you seriously expecting me to work out a logic puzzle escape room after giving me a panic attack? Jesus.

[ a panic attack she's still low-key buzzing with. buzzing will continue until collar is removed. ]

[ ... Does the window open. She's going to try. ]
bluediligence: (Nobody likes a clever clogs.)

Re: A Room

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Stating for the record that I strongly dislike this! Who do you think I am? Kaitou Kid?

[ grumbles ]

The window is locked, but glass is always breakable. [ Picks up that nightstand :|a

YEETS IT AT THE WINDOW ]
bluediligence: (This is the Olympics of self-pity.)

Re: A Room

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Rude. That's rude.

[ Rubs her throat, cringing at the feeling of the collar -

... Oh. Her pendant. Maybe ...

She doesn't need to be able to open a door or window if she can see where she wants to be. She WANTS to be down in that garden. AND SO - she attempts to teleport. ]
bluediligence: (Hashtag: That awkward moment when.)

Re: A Room

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[ OW


maybe she'll just lay here for a minute. ow.

ow.

ok. up again. back to the door, squinting at it. ]
bluediligence: (I was fired from the calendar factory.)

1/3

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[ blinks at it

squints at it ]
bluediligence: (I was fired from the calendar factory.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
bluediligence: (I was fired from the calendar factory.)

Re: A Room

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ slides the chain up ]
bluediligence: (Broken from within.)

1/2 (will respond to myself)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[ TUCKS INTO A BALLED UP CROUCH ON THE FLOOR AND HYPERVENTILATES ]
bluediligence: (It's not that he couldn't juggle.)

Re: 1/2 (will respond to myself)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ When she eventually comes back out of it ???? amount of time later, there's blood on her fingers. her neck.

her shirt.




hm. bad.

breathes. breathes. uncurls. breathes. kneels on her hands to keep them still, keep them down. breathes. shh. you're okay. you're okay. you're okay. ]


B- [ coughs. wheezes. tries again. ] Battler-senpai, this is you, right? In the last room, you laughed.

If you can tell me -

I want to know why.
bluediligence: (One serves for honor.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Starts to scrub her face.

Pauses, swallowing thickly (don't think about it don't think about it DO NOT) when she realises that, EUGH, she just smeared blood over herself. Gross. ]


... Not to be reductive, but that sounds like an awful, lonely, painful cycle.
bluediligence: (As regular as clockwork.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)







[ mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmk

okay okay okay okay okay okayokay ]


If this... all of this, is what happened to you, Senpai, it wasn't okay. I hope you know that.

[ Finally pushes herself up to stand, shakily. ]
bluediligence: (I have the strongest urge to scream.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[ curls her hands tight over the back of her neck, closing her eyes ]

Why? Why did he "deserve" it? That's bullshit.
bluediligence: (Everybody worries about that sometimes.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-20 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
People make mistakes. People do hurtful, harmful things. The way forward isn't through suffering, it's through listening and learning and trying to do, to be, better.
Edited 2023-02-20 20:07 (UTC)
bluediligence: (We can but try.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-21 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
Could not? I doubt it. There are better ways to help someone understand.
bluediligence: (An unworthy accusation.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-21 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
That still doesn't mean the suffering was justified. And - whether or not our situations are or were comparable, it's fair for me to offer another perspective.

[ Augh. She wouldn't be great at this even if she HADN'T just had that super great fun time. It's still a struggle to focus. ]

There's a non-zero chance that things could get better. I choose to have hope, and to strive for the best possible end.

... And, for the record: Choco Korone does not and will not hold this against Ushiromiya Battler. You didn't mean to hurt me, Battler-senpai, and intention means a lot in my book. If it helps to hear the words ... Choco Korone forgives Ushiromiya Battler.
bluediligence: (Out in the open.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-23 11:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ lets out a breath. she can't quite smile, not with ALL OF THIS, but her shoulders briefly lose some of their tension. ]

Yeah. That's better. Take your time and do the best you can with what you have, Battler-senpai. Your friends and loved ones will be there for you. Even if they, we, can't necessarily be physically by your side all the time, I want you to remember that it's okay to reach out.

For me, personally ... [ gives her hands a few hard shakes, just to get some of the jitters out. ] ... I'm not very good at pretending I'm okay. "Poker face," Kaito always calls it. [ haaaaa ... ] But I struggle with letting people in, too. It's a pain in the butt, 'cuz I know that I need people. I wouldn't have made it without them.

So I really, really hope you have people you can lean on, and - I hope that maybe I can grow to be one of those people, too, if you want.
bluediligence: (Why'd the cookie go to hospital?)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-23 12:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Witches are people, too, and it's valid to have feelings. Being sad, feeling lonely, those things don't make anybody pathetic.

... Even if it's hard to convince yourself otherwise. You have to try to be kind to yourself, Senpai. My therapist always scolds me when I start with the negative self-talk. Ah, well, maybe scolds isn't the right word … Well, anyway.
bluediligence: (Pity the poor plod.)

[personal profile] bluediligence 2023-02-23 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)
That one sounded a little ... [ hm ]

[ are witches like cats? except instead of yelling in various pitches to communicate it's ahaha.wav'ing?? ]

[ but. okay. okay. OKAY. she's finally pushing herself up and taking a proper look around. which reveals ]
- ehh, Uriel-san's casserole dishes? And a lute, that looks like something of Venti-san's ... Battler-senpai, are these your team feelings? [ the first step is tentative, to make sure she can take a step without embarrassing herself. the second comes easier. she goes to examine the feather first. ]