[oh hey, swords. Merlot knows some swordfighting (putting it mildly, but he wouldn't brag like that, now would he?), so of course he has to distract himself pretending to be some sort of faux-chivalric knight for a minute, defending the helpless ... which even he knows is horseshit, but it makes him seem more likable if he pretends, doesn't it.]

Yes, yes - I'll solve this in a minute, I'm sure -